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Vegas, baby. Here we come. My first real trip. My first time west of the Mississippi—well, technically not true. I think my mom took me to St. Louis once when I was a kid,but this… this was different. This was freedom. The bags were packed, the nerves tucked somewhere deep under the excitement.The weed was in my bag, the ecstasy was with Andy (which I’d never tried—until t …

The show is over.The lights have gone dark, applause faded, and life snaps back to what it always was. I wake with that heavy tug in my chest—that low-grade depression that sneaks in once the adrenaline burns off. Maybe it’s the booze. Maybe it’s the weed. Maybe it’s just the weight of hard living pressing down. But really? Deep down? I know what it is. It’s the absen …

The lights are blinding.The audience is packed.My heart pounds like a war drum, but I’m breathing through it. This is it. No turning back. Fuck. What if I forget my lines?What if I miss my cue? I peek through the curtain. My mom and stepdad are out there, front row, smiling, ready for a performance they will have no idea how to process. I laugh to myself—they’re about to witness …

hoose?Why is what I’m doing so wrong?Why can’t I have both—the freedom of creation and the grind of the hustle? My mind was a thunderstorm, clouds colliding, loud as hell with no off switch. I stumble into the kitchen, grab a glass of water, hold the counter to keep from spinning. Trying to retrace the night. It started at Greene’s place. A few blocks away. Same neighborh …